“What?” asked my grandmother amazement blazing out her blue eyes, “You don’t want a second piece of cake? Are you sick?”
Was this the same woman who had 45 minutes earlier had cornered me in the kitchen and told me I was too heavy?
During World War II, saboteurs appeared in many films. They lurked in darkened hallways, smoky bars and under bridges.
Nowadays, recognizing them is a bit trickier – especially when they are your intimate family and friends.
According to Leighton Clark, a licensed clinical social worker, most people do not set out to cause problems.
Clark, the founder and president of Creative Transitions, Ltd based in Arlington Heights, IL, compares the one to two months usually required for us to change a habit to the nearly four months needed for someone to accept your new healthy lifestyle.
Such a time discrepancy can be the root of damaging actions.
Recognizing those actions and deciphering their motives will help you to detour the roadblocks.
Asking for the support is advisable, however that is not always available if you are not comfortable yet with your new life.
Here are some scenarios and suggestions on how to handle the diet saboteurs.
Passing the popcorn
A friend wordlessly thrusts a large popcorn box at you during the movie. Politely say “no thanks, and please keep it on the other side, I don’t need the temptation.”
Should that fail, the next time take the popcorn and stick it under your seat.
When asked for it later, simply whisper “all gone.”
The office baker
Almost everyone has been accosted by the office baker and their never-ending homemade creations of cinnamon buns, cookies and bacon cupcakes.
“Have one, or two,” they say sticking a plate under your nose.
Short of backhanding the offending dish while screaming “be gone you devil,” smile sweetly, and say “ooh, that looks yummy, I’ll have one later.”
If they are extremely persistent– take it and as soon as they are out of view…dump it in the trash. Mash it up first or pour something over it, like water, if you are prone to trash diving.
High calorie presents
“Honey, I’m home,” is accompanied with a box of candy or the makings for ice cream sundaes.
Such a situation needs sensitivity.
Often, a partner has an unexpressed fear a trimmer you will leave them.
Remind them how important they are to your success and life. Suggest, in future, more appropriate presents would be a bouquet of flowers or sexy underwear in a smaller size.
The back-handed compliment
“I’m glad you’ve lost weight, but your face looks awfully thin now.”
Far from being kind, this type of comment possesses the power to destroy confidence.
Rather than being derailed, ask the person did they mean to help or hurt you.
They might not realize how their words effect you, and will rethink before uttering them in the future.
Unfortunately, there will be some people who will never be supportive. If you are unable to drop them from your life, seek out new people who will be.
Ask your cubicle mate to attend an after work yoga class or create a neighborhood potluck picnic with only healthy meals. Is there another new mother in your building? Perhaps, you two can form a daily baby buggy walkathon.
Knowing your own worth helps you find the strength to overcome all saboteurs.
Appreciate yourself and continue on your healthy lifestyle journey.