HAPPY ALMOST TURKEY DAY ALL!!!
I can’t believe it is this time of year again, it seriously blows my mind!
The holiday party invites have started to flood in and the food has already started to say “hey Jules, it’s totally OK if you eat me now, it’s the holidays”… I’m so OK if it is creepy that the food talks to me 😀
But, as most of you know food is my issue. It is what stops me from getting where I want to go and throws huge obstacles in my way for me to hurdle. But, let’s be real, like really real. The food isn’t the problem, my ability to deal with the food is the issue… let’s get realer, my ability to not cut certain things out of my diet world is truly the issue.
And, here has become the biggest struggle I have…
The art of the excuse, the art of the cheat day and what that means. For me, food is an addiction. Like an alcoholic and booze or a drug addict with their drug of “choice”, there are certain foods and certain things in foods that I am not capable of controlling myself around. For years I would put myself down about it, but the truth is some of it is truly out of my control. Especially with food companies literally spending millions to make their food addictive. Putting things in our bodies that should not be there solely to have us wanting more… sure sounds like a drug to me.
Now, here is the dilemma that I have consistently faced. And I take full responsibility for not rising above these issues, but this is what happens;
I have a conversation with someone (I have probably had over a hundred of these convo’s as I’m sure many of us have) where we discuss food and the ability to not control ourselves around certain things. For me, it’s chips, salty items, fried foods etc. For others it is sweets – candy,cake and so on. And, the moment I make the following two comments, the following two comments are made back.
I would love to just cut all of these things out of my diet period, because I’m just not able to handle knowing that I can have them.
Oh, but that just isn’t possible, I mean you need to allow yourself to have a cheat day here and there.
I have heard this time and time again to the point that it makes complete and total sense to me now… except it doesn’t. It REALLY doesn’t. I’m allowing others that want to cheat make me feel like it is OK for me to cheat. And, I know there are a lot of people who do not agree with this comparison, but I stand behind it 1000%. Would you say to an alcoholic or a drug addict “hey, fuck it, you can totally go on a bender for a day here and there, I mean you need it!” No, no you wouldn’t! You know why? Because 1) it is a terrible idea and 2) it brings the need for those items to be brought back into your body. It gives you the taste for something that you REALLY cannot handle and it teases you with it. Sure being a crack head may have FAR worse immediate results than being addicted to soda or chips, but in the long run the health risks are not so different.
Comment two (which is generally what I wrote above) :
You wouldn’t tell any other addict to have a cheat day or to allow yourself a small treat or a reward of a hit of heroin or a scotch on the rocks, right?
Yes, but the difference between those addicts and a food addict is that we HAVE to eat. That food is all around us. You don’t have to do drugs!
Ok – so this one got me for a long time… but here is the deal. 1- alcoholics have to drink, they just don’t have to drink alcohol. They still need H2O and possibly other forms of hydration in their body. But they can steer clear of booze, just like we can steer clear of certain foods.
Also, a drug is a drug is a drug. So, if you believe, like I do, that certain foods are like drugs to you – or that certain foods literally have chemicals put together to form a drug – then you shouldn’t be putting it in your body. And, just because there are some people that can stop and eat one chip or three M&M’s, that doesn’t mean you (or I) will ever be able to do that (just like there are some people that can have only a few drinks or some people who party on the weekends and then be fine with not). But if you are like me and you cannot handle eating only a few then maybe you need to take a moment, pause, be really honest with yourself and allow yourself to realize that you may have an addiction and it may be the right move to stop eating certain things.
So, this is where I am at. I’m at the point of realizing there are certain foods that I just cannot allow in my body and guess what… I DON’T WANT TO REALIZE THIS. I don’t want to say that I can’t eat this or that, because I REALLY REALLY love eating it, even though it makes me feel tired and lethargic. Even though some foods immediately have a negative affect on my mood, I don’t want to stop eating them bc they trigger a happy place for an almost second and then it’s gone. I don’t want to stop eating these things… but I have to. And, I can’t keep saying to myself that it is OK to cheat and eat these things, because simply, for me (& maybe you), it’s just not. I’m not a person who is capable of handling eating a bagel or a chip or three french fries. Because maybe that day I can cut myself off, but then all I think about is eating them for the next week or month because I can’t stop and it consumes me.
So, in the next few days, I’m going to make a list and, since I love a challenge, I will be starting this during the holiday season… but fuck it, so what?
It isn’t about rewarding myself with food this holiday season, it’s about rewarding myself with the people that I get to be around and see and laugh with.
Anyhow, that’s my take on being real with food. I would LOVE to know your thoughts below. 😀